Recently, my husband were invited to a party. As ever, I was
in a quandary about what to wear. My son’s college graduation was a few weeks
away and I had purchased seven (yes, 7) dresses to choose from. I finally
settled on one I loved. As the graduation got closer, I realized I had lost
some weight and needed a smaller size (insert joyous jig here!). That smaller
size arrived the day before the party, so I thought I’d give it a trial run. As
Everett and I left the house I felt attractive and happy.
We arrived at the party and started enjoying ourselves and,
at one point, I decided to go spend a little time with our friends’ elderly
father who was sitting alone. We engaged in some general conversation as he is
experiencing difficulty with memory, and that lasted about 5 minutes or so.
Some other friends arrived and I stood to greet them and this man spoke in an
incredibly loud voice to me and said, “Do you know you have a weight problem?”
and then to my husband and friends, “She has a weight problem. Do you see she
has a weight problem?”
I wanted to a) punch him, and b) push the “Omega 13” button,
and c) well, tell him off. None of these were options. I am sure I blushed, but
I turned to him and said, “Thank you so much for telling me! I wouldn’t have
known otherwise.” He reiterated his claim and, at that point, I just had to
walk away. Several times over the course of the evening one of the friends who
heard the whole thing felt she had to bolster my confidence. I appreciated that
she wanted me to feel better and know I was beautiful no matter what. It was
kind. However, the man’s remarks – no matter his mental state – revealed more
about his nature than my perceived shortcomings. His remarks did not make me
feel bad about myself, because who I am
is constant.
My weight is something I can change…something I am changing.
It is something I suspect will continue to challenge me throughout my
life. At the moment I am on a downward
trend. I have gotten the portions under control and I am ravenously devouring
vegetables. I drink so much water that I had to change my garden to a drought
tolerant model to compensate for my consumption! I continue to bike and go to
Bar Method classes with continued dedication and enthusiasm. I’ve been helping
my son move back home (the college graduate!) which means lots of reorganizing the attic and lifting of
heavy things. I feel strong.
I read an interesting article about BMI – Body Mass Index –
today. Clearly, as it stands, BMI has never been a good way to measure lean
body mass. I remember once when I first started teaching aerobics a woman said
to my employer, “Why do you let a fat girl teach aerobics?” To his credit, my
employer came to my defense and explained that I was definitely not fat. He threw down the gauntlet,
too. He arranged a body composition test that included both caliper and water
immersion testing. I had 11% body fat to her 25%. That shut her up. But here’s
the thing – she had a smaller frame and probably wore a smaller size than I did,
so she assumed she was in better condition. That’s why – even now – I don’t
worry too much about BMI. I know my lean muscle mass is increasing and, as the
fat slooooooowly melts off, those lean muscles are being revealed. It’s
actually quite cool to experience.
It seems, too, that women are rising up against the machine.
We are not going to let the beauty standards of the fashion industry dictate
our personal beauty or self-worth. Companies like Title Nine are using real
life women to model their athletic wear.
Sure, those women are in seriously good shape, but they represent a
healthier perspective. Dove has the “real women” campaign that celebrates
diverse body types. Women are blogging and starting companies that cater to a
broader range of sizes. Things are changing. It is cool to eat healthily and
exercise. I know I make an effort to make plans with friends that either
include us playing or moving together, or, at least, get me moving to get to
the meeting place. I don’t want to have to think
about exercising – I want it to be naturally incorporated into my daily life.
Well, speaking of moving, it’s time to go cook up some
veggies.
