This week I have been considering flexibility in many forms;
specifically flexibility in physical, mental, and emotional forms. The holidays
are fast approaching and what used to be a very organized and defined time of
celebration has become more chaotic for me. My mother was very inclusive at
holidays – she couldn’t stand the idea that anyone would be alone. Before my
parents died Thanksgiving was always at their house – the last few years I
cooked everything, but the venue remained the same. The guest list included all
family and occasional guests. It was a wonderful holiday spent around a
bountiful feast in a warm, inviting atmosphere. Lots of laughter, love, and joy…humans
and pets all together. (Funny that my mom always included the dogs…)
Soon after we would celebrate Christmas Eve at my parents’ house
– more family, an orgy of greed, yummy dinner prepared by Mom or me with
contributions from other family members. Again, lots of laughter, love, and
joy. OK, some family squabbling occurred at all of the events, but, hey, it’s
family. I miss it. On Christmas Day my mother refused to cook (yay, Mom!), so we almost always went out to eat
and it was wonderful! We usually went to San Francisco, looked at the beautiful
lights and decorations, had a delicious meal, and then went home to relax…and
then head off to our respective homes.
Now Thanksgiving is at my house, Christmas Eve is elsewhere,
and, in an effort to persuade my MIL to honor my mother’s fine tradition of not
cooking on Christmas, I try to make reservations for Christmas. I have had to
learn to be flexible when making arrangements.
This year there will be bigger changes. More family in town,
but spread out so we’ll do more venue-hopping.
More game playing, more silliness, less quiet time. More days filled
with activity, less time to just focus on my own family. It requires me and all
of the others to be very flexible. It’s
coming slowly to me because I resist change to tradition. I resist anything
that varies from the happy, warm memories. I know this about myself and I make
a concerted effort to relax and let things flow. It’s one of my biggest
personal emotional challenges.
Physically, flexibility is also coming back slowly. I
remember at Bar class in the first few weeks how difficult I found the
stretching portions of class. My body was not used to moving, fat was in the
way, things didn’t move the way my brain told them to. Stubborn body! Well,
many months in now I am finding that, as I become more toned and the fat begins
to shift, my flexibility is improving. The first time I noticed was in a quad
stretch – one day I could suddenly reach my ankle and pull it up. Another time
I found I could flex my foot and keep my leg straight on the barre. Today I was
able to do all the twist stretches. Just this past week I found myself in a
forward stretch holding the arches of my feet. Ah, the little things.
I have abandoned my need for quick results. I know this to
be fact now. I am embracing incremental change and noticing each positive gain.
This new approach is so alien to me, but so much more rewarding. Let’s just see
if it trickles down into the rest of my life!
