12-31-12

It is the final day of 2012. I still haven’t lost any additional weight, but I have not gained anything through the entire holiday season. This tells me something: I have grasped the concept. In the New Year I will join the millions of others endeavoring to lose weight and I will continue to succeed. I need the holiday food availability to cease. ;-) Yeah, I ate my fair share of goodies.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but 2012 was emotionally draining for me. I felt more discouraged than I ever have in the past. I struggled with choosing to continue friendships for the sake of nostalgia or to stop for the sake of my personal well-being. I started making some serious decisions about purging emotional and physical baggage. I worried deeply over the emotional welfare of those closest to me and watched as they worked through one of the most difficult times for each of them. This year also brought tremendous gifts to those around me and, on occasion, their joy struck deep sadness in me for things lost. I discovered a profound emptiness inside…and I wonder if that isn’t the void I have been trying to fill with food.
It seems like I need to identify that which makes me feel successful personally. Sure, I participate in making organizations and other people successful in achieving goals, but what are mine? What, exactly, would make me feel as though I had achieved something personally satisfying? I hope 2013 will be a time when I am able to see more clearly choices that are fulfilling.

I am wishing love, joy, and peace to all reading my blog, but especially to my son and husband. I hope we are all able to make our mark this year.

Happy New Year. Here's a pretty tree in a parking lot for your viewing pleasure...

 

 

Five weeks. Oops!

Five weeks have passed since I wrote anything for Blubber Blabber. Intentions were good, but life was busier than usual so, let’s catch up, shall we?

I am still at 24 pounds lost. No weight loss in 5 additional weeks. However, no weight gain. No excuses, I have been eating at a maintenance level, not a weight loss level. It was apparent that with the holidays approaching I needed to do something to keep the traditional weight gain at bay. I have maintained a level of exercise to keep myself stable, but have not added anything drastic. I went for a great walk around Lake Merritt with my friend Tasha one day, have been to the gym and swimming, followed the California International Marathon in the pouring rain, gardening at my house and my sister-in-law’s house, etc. All lots of movement, all lots of calorie burning. And then there’s the food. I have made pies, cheesecakes, Thanksgiving dinner, and cookies. I have sampled ALL of Trader Joe’s new holiday torture food. (Is it wrong to love cashew brittle in dark chocolate? I think not.) The difference I have noted in my behavior is that while I am consuming all of the things I love I am conscious of calories, I am conscious of exercise required to consume those calories, and I am consciously active in my quest.

This morning my scaled glimmered at 24.5 before settling on 24, so I am sure a new phase of loss is in the offing.

I discovered another reason for wanting to lose weight. My husband injured his leg and was unable to run the marathon in Sacramento. We went anyway to support our friend Louis (who finished his first marathon in 4:56! Awesome!) and to have a dog-free weekend away. We stayed at a lovely hotel downtown and made use of their gym and pool. Although it was cold out, the outdoor pool was nestled in between buildings on the 4^th floor and the water was warm enough to be perfect for winter swimming. All was well until I decided to go in from the pool. Climbing out I felt this oppressive feeling of heaviness bearing down on me. I used to pop out of the pool feeling great, but this time I just felt gravity. It inspired me to go back on a loss plan until December 21. Then I will resume maintenance level until January 2. I have proven I can do this.

Do you have a plan in place for the holiday season? So many temptations will be available and, frankly, in your face. Also, with winter upon us, people forget to hydrate. Water is super important in the winter to keep your skin from getting dry and to keep you healthy.

Well, with all the rain we’ve had this past few weeks, my garden is filling with weeds again. Time to sweep up the needles and pull out the new weeds. Calorie burning: here I come.

When last we met...

When last we met, I’d just finished the deck. My son’s room was the only room left in our house that had not been updated. When he was home we picked out a color he liked and the day after I finished the deck I started on his room. It only took two days and I moved a load of furniture (and dust...ahem), but the joy I felt when that room was finished was fantastic. I even retired my painting clothes!

 

I made a conscious decision to do some things I wanted for myself. First was to read a couple of really good books. Two by Robert Reich (Supercapitalism and Aftershock – both beautifully written books on our economy), then I started Christopher Paolini’s Eragon which I had promised my son years ago that I would read. It’s really fun and I’m glad I waited until I could really enjoy it. I also decided to go trampolining.

Trampolining? Yep. There’s a place called “Sky High” that is nearby that has trampolines, foam pits, dodgeball courts, etc. – for youth and adult jumpers! It’s fun, affordable, and incredibly fun exercise. I went with my husband on a Tuesday afternoon and we had a blast. Went in dry, came out exhausted and sweaty. I have to say that for the most part Trampoline Day was the most fun I’ve had. First we jumped, then went to buy a nightgown for me (A $30 one which I got on sale for $1.90!), and, since it was Free Taco Tuesday at Taco Bell (thank you Angel Pagan!), we stopped for a 200 calorie taco. We drove past a second Taco Bell later and, yes, we totally got another free taco. LOL! Did I mention that jumping on a trampoline burns about 500 calories an hour? Well, it does and those tacos were FREE (in every way!).

EvBo and I went out for dinner a bit later and then decided to stay in Walnut Creek to avoid the traffic. He said, “You know, I feel good enough so that if you want to shop a bit that would be ok.” I did not hesitate one instant on that offer! We walked over to Coldwater Creek where he bought me a pair of slacks and a pretty green sweater.  Sweet.

When we came home I still had a massive calorie deficit for the day, so we decided to indulge in caramel apples that I made. In the middle of eating the caramel I discovered I had chipped my front tooth!  NOOOOOOOO! Apparently, when I knocked my jaw with my own knee while I was trampolining I cracked my enamel and it came off in the caramel. Very bad. Not too noticeable, but it still needed attention. However, Halloween was the next day so repair would have to wait.

Halloween was fun. We got the house decorated for the trick-or-treaters and I pulled out our costumes for the costume karaoke party at Lounge 3411 that night. We went as DeMon and Cruella DeVille. It was very fun. Through all of this I have been able to keep to my calorie count and have been getting walks in. I am stalled at 24 pounds, but I don’t worry because I know my weight will continue to go down.

Today I had my front tooth fixed by my talented dentist.  I’m very happy with the results and I will be testing it all out on the trampoline next Wednesday.  Can’t wait!

Now that we are officially in the holiday season, I wish you all good sense and good luck with regard to your food and exercise choices!

So very much to report!

Well, first off, I have lost 2 more pounds in the last 3 weeks.  I have also lost one more pants size. I am feeling very positive.  With one more loss on the scale I will have lost 25 pounds. Celebrate!

This past 3 weeks has been truly productive.  In my last entry I mentioned that my husband was going on his annual trip with his buddies and that I planned to paint the bathroom, my son’s room, and, if there was time left, I’d refinish the deck. I don’t know what I was thinking. LOL! My husband left early on Wednesday, and rather than sleep because I had an extra full day to myself, I decided to get going on the bathroom. It’s a darned good thing I did!

We have the world’s smallest bathroom, situated between our bedrooms (a “Jack and Jill”). The original paint was – you guessed it – beige – and, of course, I had to put in color. I chose dark celery with a bright white trim. You would think a small room would be finished quickly, but, oddly, the smaller the room and the more fixtures there are, the longer it takes. THREE DAYS of my life to paint that room! It was an exercise in contortion and breath control – twisting every which way to fit between and over permanent items. By the time I finished on Friday I was exhausted, bruised, and more than a little pleased with myself. Also during those first three days I walked the dog, made healthy meal choices, drank loads of water, and even when out to karaoke with some buddies of my own! This is my finished product:

 

On Saturday I had a well-deserved day off. I took MinBo to Pt. Isabel in Richmond for a romp in the park.  He loves it there and I get a real walk because he is off leash. I stopped at the Tool Lending Library to borrow an orbital sander just in case I had time to work on the deck (hey, you never know…) I came home, relaxed a bit, then got ready to go out in San Francisco.

My friend and I met at her cool new houseboat for drinks, and then went to a great Dogpatch restaurant called Serpentine. We did something I don’t usually do which was split the entrée.  SMART! It was the perfect amount of food and left room and calories for a small dessert item. Such a great move. (Thanks, Margaret!) We had a great evening and I went home feeling very pleased not to have overindulged.

Sunday dawned and, crazy me, I decided that I could find the energy to sand down the deck benches.  I went outside, swept away the leaves and got down to business. After I sanded the benches, planning to leave the actual deck sanding to my husband, I thought, “Well, that wasn’t so hard.  Might as well keep going.” So, yes, I sanded the entire deck while alternately crouching and kneeling. Four hours. Calories galore burnt. Thighs in true pain. EvBo came home and was really happy with the new bathroom and surprised and happy about the deck – until I brought up that we would have to power wash and then stain it before the rain came. Oh well, nothing like Mother Nature to force your hand. EvBo power washed the next day and on Tuesday I stained the whole deck. (I started off just planning to do the benches and leave the deck surface to him…but we’ve all seen how that goes. I’m a glutton for thigh pain, apparently!)

There’s more to tell, but I will stop for today and write a new installment in the next few days.  Carry on, People!

Slow and steady

In my enthusiasm to kick it up a notch in the exercise department, I managed to pinch my sciatic nerve in a way that has been pretty ouchie. I always think I can just work through the pain, which, of course, aggravates the inflammation and prolongs the disability.  Enter Rory (the God of Massage) who introduced me to safflower extract…inflammation gone in one day. Pain removed.  I do love Chinese herbal remedies.

My body has been adjusting to its new weight. Since I am not new to the weight loss game, I was aware that the first adjustment phase would come at about 20 pounds.  By “adjustment” I mean that my own body will lose about 20 pounds and then, even though I stick to the calorie count/exercise plan I’ve been following, it will stay at the new weight while the skin shrinks to the new size and the blubber repositions for the next phase of loss.  I’ve noticed that the abdominal fat has changed consistency (TMI? Sorry) and is less solid.  This is a very good thing.

During this adjustment phase I have been working on my sister-in-law’s yard.  She has a side yard that was just totally overgrown with weeds.  We went to a lecture about making meadows by John Greenlee at Annie’s Annuals in Richmond.  It was really inspiring, so my SIL decided she wanted to try that in the side yard.  My husband and I wanted to help so we went into action and started last weekend on this:

Between the three of us, we cut down a small tree, weeded, dug trenches, hauled ground cover bark and rocks, planted bulbs, constructed an underground sprinkler system, planted new plants and spread newspaper and bark over the finished area.  Two full days, a couple of trips to OSH, and good-natured hard work resulted in this:

 

It was rewarding in that my SIL has a beautiful new space, we completed a cool project, and I lost another pound.  22 so far!

This coming week I am starting another project – repainting the bathroom and my son’s room…if there is extra time before my husband comes back from his trip I am going to sand the back deck. I have 5 days and I am going to make the most of them! Losing weight is giving me a significant amount of extra energy and I am motivated to move when I move more easily.

To everyone else struggling with an adjustment phase…just keep working your plan.  That weight can’t win against your will! Let me know what you do in your "adjustment" phases!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

It’s been a long, emotional week.  My husband’s birthday party was last weekend – it was a tiki bash in our back yard with lots of good friends and food.  The weather was perfect, everyone seemed to have a really good time, and by the end of it, I was completely exhausted. I was expecting a great massage the next day, but my massage therapist had car trouble.  Boo! So I was tired, with very sore feet…but there was an awesome upside: no swollen ankles! I’m pretty sure the 20 pounds I’d lost and the regimen of half my weight in water consumed each day really has solved that problem.  Big win. Also, I completely stayed in the right calorie range on party day!  Wahoo!

The week following the party has been amazing.  First off, I got into SMALLER JEANS! I woke up on Monday and just felt smaller, so I thought I’d pull out the new jeans and give it a shot. It was such a thrill to have them go on and zip without the exhale/suck-it-in routine…they just fit.  YAY!

As ever, there was more gardening to do this week.  I had to get the bulbs in the ground while they were fresh so that I’ll have flowers in the spring. That took a couple of hours (reminding everyone that gardening burns a ridiculous amount of calories) and I have to say I was pretty sore afterward. I had a ton of work keeping me at my desk, so I really welcomed the gardening break.  My dog had to go for his annual check-up at the vet on Tuesday, so I left an hour before his appointment to walk him around the lake. Are you seeing a trend here? I have finally embraced MOVING every single day no matter what.

My son and husband were doing a project together in the back yard before our son went back to college.  This will be his first year living off campus and I was really touched when he asked me what things he should buy at the grocery store to have on hand. He shops for a meal or for baking, but he’s never stocked his own kitchen.  I took time to write down things I thought would be helpful…and I made a kind of care package to send along. I love that he asked.  He’s just the best. He’s very conscious about the food he eats and he knows that baked goods are his Achilles heel, so he, too, is aware of moving enough each day to keep his body where he wants it.  He’s a good example for me.

On Thursday I spent the day with my son – lunch at his favorite place, some time at the book store, planning dinner and a movie for the evening. We had a great day talking and laughing. Through all of this I embraced my new “cash account” eating/exerting and barely had to think about staying in calorie range.

Today, my son left for school.  I was a little sad, but he’s only 90 minutes away and I’m going to visit next week to see how he’s set up his house. I threw myself into work for several hours after he left for a distraction, then went to the hardware store with my husband to scout prices for a yard project we are doing with his sister on Sunday.  Normally I would dread doing someone else’s yard on top of mine, but hey, we will be helping someone AND gardening burns oodles of calories! Gardening is my new best friend! In the late afternoon today I took the dog for a walk and then my husband and I walked down to have dinner and see a movie at the local theatre. It was really a lovely evening.

Tomorrow is my mother-in-law’s birthday. My husband and I are biking to downtown Berkeley to meet her and two of his sisters for brunch, then biking back (while the rest drive) and having coffee and cake at our house. The afternoon will be spent gathering tools and supplies for the garden project (we’re making a meadow!).  On Sunday the project commences and we have about 10 hours of work to complete. I am hoping to have a beautiful garden for my sister-in-law and a couple of pound loss for the week. I am at 21 now with many, many inches lost.

My anniversary is Monday and my husband has dinner plans for us…I am planning activities for the day so dinner can be a real treat. 

This new way of life is really wonderful.

Excuses, excuses, excuses. ARGH!

Today I was shopping at Trader Joe’s.  A large woman (just bigger than me actually) was shopping near me as I reached for the kale.  (Did I mention in an earlier blog about Kale Chips?  SO delicious and SO easy to make and I thank Robbo for turning me onto them – recipe below.)  She was chatty and was telling me her preference between choices of arugula. I mentioned the kale for kale chips and she said, “Oh, if you had hypothyroidism like me you would have to stay away from kale. It gets in the way of losing weight.**” Not on purpose, that was the very moment I glanced into her shopping cart. Bread, cake, chips…methinks kale is not the thing standing between this woman and weight loss.

Look, I really am in no position to judge anyone regarding their weight, but come on! Self-awareness, people! You can’t load your shopping cart with goodies, your pantry with temptations, your fridge with ice cream, and expect to succeed. If you self-sabotage you will fail.  Again. Then you can fall back on all of those beautifully polished excuses you have used for so very long.  For example:

·         I am genetically programmed to be obese.

·         I can’t lose weight no matter how hard I try!

·         I don’t have time to exercise.

·         It’s harder to lose weight when you’re older.

·         Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…fail.

I am 51. It is no harder for me to lose weight now than it was in my 20s. It’s just a little slower. It takes the same discipline, patience, and dedication.  I log in to www.loseit.com every day without fail to log my food and exercise. I drink half my weight in water each day. I walk where I might have driven or I take the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator. I have hypothyroidism. I have lost over 20 pounds in 11 weeks. So my excuses are just that: excuses.

I am well-aware that there are special circumstances.  Some medications have a side-effect of weight gain, but I know many who manage that just fine through careful diet and exercise. Some people have mobility issues and can’t walk or move easily – but I know people who exercise from a chair or get in a local pool to combat this. For every pound lost there is a reduction of force on your joints. Has anyone ever noticed how your shoes get looser as you lose weight? Partially it’s weight loss, and partially the splay of your feet reduces. I have “skinny” shoes in my wardrobe!  I guess what I am suggesting is that maybe you don’t have a problem losing weight – maybe you have a problem seeing what you are doing to stop yourself from losing weight.

Here’s where I am right now: I bought salt and vinegar potato chips – something I discovered and immediately loved 33 years ago on a trip with my friend Ruth. I looked at the label and a bag the size I would previously enjoyed as a single serving had 7 servings at 150 calories each (yeah, that’s 1,050 per bag, my friends). I ate 3 chips (12 is a serving) and then I went and logged it online. I have to admit that is a bit obsessive, but it is the reason I am now losing weight.  Accountability and awareness. I have this in most aspects of my life, but in diet I have always borrowed and lied with regard to calories.  No more. How about you?

 

Kale Chips:

·         Bag/bunch of kale.

·         Clean it, dry it, peel it away from the stem into leafy chip-sized pieces.

·         Put it in a bowl.

·         Drizzle some olive oil (I used 2 tbsp on 2 bags of Trader Joe’s kale) over it and toss it until the leaves look like they all have a bit of oil on them.  Over-oiling defeats the purpose and diminishes the crispness, btw.

·         Shake in some salt and pepper and toss some more.

·         Add any other seasoning you like – I suggest making a salt and pepper batch first to see what you think and then experimenting afterward.  My favorite is salt, pepper, and turmeric.

·         Bake on a cookie sheet (I put parchment paper underneath) for 25-35 minutes at 325 degrees.

·         Take them out, let them cool, and OMG.  Tasty! (Thank you, Robbo!)

 

(**For those of you who are wondering, “Why is kale bad for those with hypothyroidism?”…well, it isn’t! It’s just advised that you not eat raw kale in excess because it inhibits iodine absorption which is a factor in hypothyroidism. Besides, kale chips are baked until crispy.)

Although this has nothing to do with weight loss or kale chips, I thought you might like to see a squishy bulldog photo...MinBo...master of squishiness!

 

 

 

Successful pain

Great friends from Italy came to visit us this past Labor Day weekend. We accomplished all of the home improvements we intended to do before their arrival and I reached 20 pounds lost that day. (Yay!) One of the reasons I wanted to lose that much by then was so that I could hike with everyone and not be the one who was lagging. 

The hike started out well.  Although I was out of breath after the first hill, I regained my equilibrium quickly and began to enjoy myself.  My husband and I identified the route we would take on the map, so I knew what to expect.  Unfortunately, he deviated from that route which made a 2.5 mile hike a 5 mile hike and, about a half mile before the end I could no longer manage the trek.  My calves were cramping, I was beet red, I was dripping perspiration, and I was beginning to feel like I might cry. Although I felt really betrayed by my husband – because we agreed beforehand and he knew I wasn’t ready for a 5 mile hike – I was trying to remain in good spirits. I didn’t get angry. I did almost cry.  But mostly, I was embarrassed because the other three people were merrily hiking along and I could not finish the hike. Finally, the men went ahead to get the car while my friend and I waited for them.  When we got back to the house I still was hosting a dinner for these friends and I did not want to be a whiner.

Back at the house we had a great time eating and drinking – because I had literally hiked my ass off I felt free to pick and choose my food. However, before I made the menu I calculated the best tasting food with the best calorie counts.  This is something I have gotten into the habit of doing. I made a cheesecake – my first – and it came out great, but I still only had 1/3 of a slice.  Somehow I ended up way below the calorie count I should have eaten and I know that is not a good practice.

Monday morning was a nightmare. I woke up with leg muscles cramped and tight. I was so wiped out that I decided to decline the two lovely invitations we received from other close friends and just stay in bed. I slept, watched television, read, and snuggled with the dog.  As I lie there aching I thought about the previous day and the positive side of everything.

·         I hiked 4.5 of 5 miles

·         I burned enough calories so I didn’t have to think about what I ate (although I did)

·         For the most part I was not lagging

·         My husband – although thoughtless – believed in my ability to hike again

·         Our friends had a great time

·         I was lucky enough to be able to stay in bed all day Monday

Today I am still sore, but I took the dog for a long walk this afternoon and I think things are getting looser again.  I am down another half pound. Ten weeks, 20.5 pounds.  I’m in this for the long haul.

Accidental and Incidental “exercise”

I recently returned from a 5 day trip to Lake Tahoe.  Each summer I am lucky enough to borrow a friend’s cabin and head up to my favorite place in the world with my wonderful son.  My husband doesn’t love it as much as I do, so he’s tolerant when we leave (I think he likes the bachelor life for a few days). Luckily, my 20 year old still thinks a few days at the lake with Mom is a good thing…for me it is a treasured time.

Lake Tahoe, in case you’ve never been there, is beautiful. It’s at about 6200 feet and the air is crisp and clean.  The lake is blue, bright green, clear, and cold.  I love it.  Jumping in the cold water is exhilarating (once you realize you chose to jump in – no one forced you and no, you are not having a heart attack), and once you acclimate, it’s magnificent to paddle around aimlessly. I spent a total of 11 hours in the lake from Monday to Thursday. Do you know how many calories you burn just treading water? 300 an hour.  If you add a little swimming it’s well into the 440+ range.  Needless to say, I accidentally got plenty of exercise last week while I was playing around in the lake.  I kept account of my food intake and we chose to cook rather than eat at restaurants. It was the best possible week and when I came home the scale rewarded me further with an additional 4 pounds down!     

Home was a welcome sight, but there was plenty on the home improvement list to complete.  I decided that I felt really good so I would tackle the front garden (again).  Somehow, even though I am pretty sure I got all the weeds the last time, there seemed to be an overwhelming number of new weeds.  ;-) Sneaky little things. Anyway, with my body feeling really strong from all of the time in the lake I was much more flexible while gardening.  I think I pointed out in another blog how gardening makes you move in bizarre ways…well it also burns 354 calories an hour!  (I burn more at my current weight, but I always log calories burned at the lowest calculation.) Wahoo!  Incidentally , I was working out while I did a necessary chore.  Nearly 5 hours after I started I pulled the last weed (that I was going to pull) and crawled inside to shower.  Every part of my body ached, but the yard looks great and I burned a crapload of calories to boot.  Today I did some more weeding (I’m stopping, really) and planted the final plants for the summer.  Put some new soil in the driveway patch and now my front garden makes me smile. I have to say that I am going to think of the garden as my exercise buddy from now on.  Silent and always there.  My favorite. I also put the Tiki masks up in the back yard so, after I garden I can sip my tropical beverage here:

 

Today I considered what life is going to be like once I make more significant progress toward my weight loss goal.  I have lost nearly 20 pounds in 2 months. Just a little over two pounds per week. My goal is to lose 90 more. However, I don’t focus on that number…I just wonder what I will choose to do as an energy burner for my calorie bank as the calorie intake number decreases and my output necessarily increases to compensate for the food I must eat. I love swimming, but only in lakes, so that will continue when I am near one. Bicycling is fun.  Yoga is challenging and I like it.  Pilates – ah, my favorite.  But the gym?  Not so much. I think I will walk.  More often. Faster. Smiling at strangers. In my smaller, more comfortable body.  Join me?

It happened!

I knew it was just a waiting game.  You cannot possibly eat less, exercise more, and stay the same weight.  Not possible.  Except, for anyone who has dieted and is reading this blog, you know that your body can panic and hold onto weight like it’s never going to be fed again. ARGH!

My body – which has been abused by yo-yo dieting for so very long – is a professional when it comes to hanging onto weight.  “OH NO!  You’re not doing that again!” it screams.  But I just ignored the scale and went along my merry way drinking water, banking my calories in and exercise out.  10 days, 11 days…12 days, not a single ounce down.  Then I woke up a couple of days ago and BOOM! 2.5 pounds gone!  That’s a total of 15.5 in 8 weeks.  Roughly 2 pounds per week, exactly as I planned.  No suffering, no misery, just responsibility and determination.

I can’t explain why suddenly this has all come together for me.  I like fast results which is why I have tried Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, Cambridge, the Mayo Clinic Diet (grapefruit and eggs…yum),cabbage soup diet, and the Stewardess Diet (yes, a diet so old it is politically incorrect to name it).  EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE DIETS WORKED FOR ME. Fast results, smaller size, increased energy.  But once I got the results I stopped.  I have nothing against all of the plans listed about – they work.  But you must be responsible for the aftercare of your body.

I’m no idiot.  I have a good education and a sharp mind.  But you know the saying, “You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results?” I was doing the same thing over and over and over and over.  Ridiculous.  This time something clicked.  I realized that whether I do a prescribed diet or my own thing, I still lose about 2 pounds per week.  The big difference is that when I am on a prescribed diet I crave all the things that I am denied. The way I am doing this now – with loseit.com, healthstatus.com, etc. – I eat whatever I want as long as I pay for it with exercise FIRST.  There is no more thinking that vigorous exercise on Monday pays for food overload on Tuesday.  Every day is a new day.  Every day I start from zero.  Every day I write it all down and calculate what I eat and what I owe for it. 

I am sticking to this plan.  It’s working, it’s simple, it’s the way I can live the rest of my life.  This time next year I will – almost literally – be half the woman I am today.  Whee!

Moving in unexpected ways.

My weight loss is stuck.  I have been at 12 pounds lost for about 10-12 days now.  It’s frustrating. Some mornings I wake up and think, “Today is the day the scale will go down!”  But no.  That day was not today.  Not to be discouraged, though, I decided to finish the floor part of my home improvement project.  There is no part of any project I have dreaded more, as scrubbing things on my hands and knees is definitely NOT something I enjoy. But it had to be done and, oddly, no one else was volunteering for this job. Hmmm.

Being down on your hands and knees scrubbing is a real chore.  Especially if you have been avoiding it for…well…years.  I decided that taking the dirt out of the wood floors and making them look lovely again would be satisfying.  It is.  I reached, bent, and otherwise moved in ways I normally don’t, so it was very good exercise and it took a few hours to do.  Here’s the big deal.  After doing this today I still have enough energy to go dancing!  And I can wear my jeans straight out of the dryer! And the cool shirt I like fits again!

This is why moving - regardless of what the scale says is happening - is important and why I am having an easier time now with the slow weight loss. I know my body is changing and I know the results are starting to show (mostly in my face, but hey, I’ll take it!)

My message to everyone today is: don’t get discouraged by the scale. See and feel the other subtle changes – increased energy, better fitting clothes, and the ability to move more easily.  If you and I stick to plan – banking calories in and out each day – the scale will go down.

Have a great weekend!

P.S. Happy Birthday, Papa!  I miss you. (The photo is of my wonderful and fun parents at my Halloween party one year.  Momma came as "Endora" from "Bewitched" and Papa came as "Uncle Sam."  They were amazingly awesome parents and I miss them every day!) 

One thing leads to another...

Do you ever start the day with a project in mind and at the end of the day wonder, “what the heck just happened?”  Well, that’s been my month of August…and yes, this blog has to do with weight loss.

 It all started with a joke about friends coming to visit.  The last time these friends came from Italy we had a wonderful time and had dinner together at our house.  When they had gone I came to the conclusion that our countertops had to be replaced because it was a)mortifying to have the world’s grossest counters, b) they were a health hazard, and c) I really wanted granite because it’s cleaner, prettier, and more sensible than wood.  That decision meant that I practically overhauled the entire kitchen the following month. 

These same friends are visiting again in September.  Although they (an no other friends) could not care less about things and more about company, my husband and I started joking about how this thing or that thing wasn’t good enough for their visit. As we laughed out loud we started thinking about changes we had waited on…one being a comfortable chair in the living room.  So I found a chair we both liked and ordered it for my husband’s birthday present (early). Then one night I was up late and saw an infomercial about this product called, “Rejuvenate.” Supposedly, it restored wood and linoleum to its original beauty…sold at Home Depot…so I resolved to try that.  (Product endorsement here:  LOVE IT.) Then I realized the carpets needed shampooing.  Which meant the furniture needed polishing.  Which meant everything had to be moved to get underneath.  Imagine the calories I am burning here.  Thousands each day.  I am keeping to my allowed calories intake per day. But not adding in the extra I am working off.  Unfortunately, I am working so strenuously that my body is retaining water like crazy and although I am getting smaller, the scale is staying the same. My body is in crisis-panic mode.

Anyway, out to the back yard where the beautiful overhanging maple is in dire need of pruning of the deadwood.  As we look around we realize that we have tolerated this hideous, invasive butterfly bush for years and we both want to chainsaw it.  Down it comes.  To our dismay the garage wall it was hiding is peeling, discolored, and desperate for attention. Scraping, sanding, repainting ensue.  New ceramic pots, plants, soil, and rearranging backyard seating happens.  Calories burning in all directions.  Weight not budging.  Clothing getting looser.

Am I frustrated by the scale?  You bet I am. But here’s the thing I know:  I have stuck to my new system of calories banking.  Calories out, calories in.  There has been a change in my size.  My belly is decreasing.  My clothes are looser.  My skin is shrinking with my decrease in size.  If I were newer to the game of weight loss I would be depressed right now because of the scale.  Instead, I am delighting in the changes because I know one day I will wake up and be 5 pounds lighter all of a sudden.  And to top it all off, we now have this to enjoy while I wait for the scale to catch up:

So.Very.Sore. YAY!

I love to garden.  You might not guess this from the weeds peeking out of my front beds, but I do.  The thing is, I tend to garden in marathon spurts.  It starts with noticing a few more errant weeds than usual…I pull one or two…and five hours later I can’t stand up and the huge green waste can is overflowing.  It happened again today. 

I went outside this morning to decide which dead branches I would remove from the huge maple hanging over our deck from the neighbors’ yard (we love it and them!) when my husband came out and said he’d be happy to chainsaw down the bush I’ve been longing to kill remove from our yard.  Everyone in our neighborhood has one of these stupid ugly invasive big bushes because they attract birds.  However, we have lots of plants that attract birds and offer nesting areas, so I was ready to destroy that sucker get busy chopping it into the bin.

With the ridiculous boyish joy that only a full-grown man with a power tool in his hand can exhibit, my husband attacked the butterfly bush. He managed to dislodge the chain from the chainsaw and had to do a quick internet tutorial to reassemble it for the final cuts.  (He’s really good with tools!) Anyway, cut away from the base, this bush took on a life of its own.  It was huge. So I started cutting.  And cutting.  I filled out huge bin, the next-door neighbors’ bin, the bin from the neighbors across the street, and after 5 hours of cutting, was still left with a pile of denuded branches that I will happily have my son cut up at his leisure (and by leisure I mean ASAP in case you are reading this).  ;-)

You all know I am “banking” my calories each day.  Energy in, energy out.  I had breakfast before I started the project and had a little meal in the middle of it, but, by the most conservative estimate, I burned over 1,400 calories today.  It was with absolutely no guilt that I ate fish and chips with the family tonight and I am having dessert.  In the old days I might have considered today’s burn to be sufficient for the week, but what has changed in my mind is that each day is a brand new banking day.  There is no carryover.  Use it or lose it as they say.

So, I am freakin’ sore.  And it feels fanfreakintastic.

VOLLEYBALL. OMG!

When I start to lose weight in earnest I get very energized.  I feel floaty and positive seeing the numbers go down and the clothes fit easier.  It makes me want to participate fully in life.  Saturday was the annual picnic some friends throw.  It is a gathering of musicians, long-time friends, new people, kids, dogs…all races, all professions, all ages.  It’s the best picnic in the world.

Every year the gathering includes a ton of really delicious food.  The hosts BBQ all the meat – chicken, ribs, brisket – and the guests bring the side dishes.  You never know what will be there, but it’s always good.  This year I brought fresh fruit because a) I had it in the house and b) it was a sunny day in the woods.  Fruit seemed like a good idea. Did I mention that there is also lots of sangria and other adult beverages at this party?  Yeah.  Temptation central.

Saturday marked a wonderful departure for me.  I went to the picnic having eaten a healthy breakfast and I immediately saw people I hadn’t seen for ages.  I brought my water bottle, kept hydrated, and filled it several times. There was so much chatting going on at first that I forgot about food.  Then someone mentioned volleyball.  It was Katherine.  She saw that there was a net set up on the field below us that no one was using so she got a bunch of us to go down.  Mind you, I do lots of things with Katherine, but I hadn’t played volleyball with her (in 25 years…weird) and I didn’t know she loved it as much as I do.  Anyway, a pile of people went down and we got a fun game going on the grass.  Sadly we were kicked off the field by a cranky diva, but everyone was so into the game that we moved it to the sand volleyball courts.  OMG.  We played so hard.  There were even some bloody injuries (I got one!  Wahoo!), but no one was seriously hurt.  It was SO MUCH FUN! I texted my husband who was home working on garage things and he was inspired to come up to join us. We made some new friends and got some great exercise.  I think we played well over 2 hours when you add it all up…and that is a monumental calorie burn.

The best part of the day for me was that I could do it.  I was a sweaty mess, but I was laughing and playing my best.  I made a couple of cool new friends and now a bunch of us are determined to get more games going.  I am looking into getting a volleyball set so we can take it on the road.  And you know what else?  On Sunday I woke up after a great night’s sleep and suggested to my husband that we take a long walk – which we did with our dog.  It felt great, too!

My reward? Well, it really is feeling good about moving again.  But ELEVEN AND A HALF POUNDS DOWN is a pretty cool one, too.  ;-)

Do you want to succeed on your weight loss plan?

I wrote this entry when I was doing Nutrisystem a couple of years ago.  NUTRISYSTEM WORKS.  It worked for me.  It works for thousands of others.  What happens is that after Nutrisystem many of us think we have reached the finish line and never have to diet again…so we start eating the wrong foods in the wrong portions and we stop exercising.  The weight comes back.  It isn’t Nutrisystem’s fault.  It is ours.

Here is what I wrote…before I failed again.

“I have been on NS since October 17, 2008. That's 27 weeks. I intend to lose about 80 pounds. So far I have lost 43.5 pounds which is about 1.6 pounds per week. Some weeks I lost 4, some I lost zero. Sometimes I stayed the same for weeks on end. There were days I was frustrated, days I was hungry, days I wanted to cheat in a BIG way. But here's the thing...I just stuck with the plan. I drink 10-12 glasses of water each day. I exercise most days - at first it was walking the dog more often, then I increased to walking faster alone, now I run and walk the dog and do Pilates. It's amazing how much better one feels without the excess weight. I eat on program - whether it is actual NS foods or substitutes that fit in calorie/fiber/carb/protein-wise. I keep my portions in control.

No, I don't think I'm perfect. I have consumed about 8 glasses of wine in the last 27 weeks. I had a small hot fudge sundae on vacation and a piece of baklava. There have been pizza bites. I still forget to eat sometimes. Occasionally I long for foods I know are not good for my health. I know this will always be part of my life, but I also know that being conscious of my eating behavior will ALSO always be part of my life. And I know that losing this weight is going to be good for my heart, mind, joints, and other organs. Plus I am going to look better and have more energy for fun things.

I get cranky when I read about new members who are ready to throw in the towel after 3 days or a week or two. I want to scream when I hear about people who don't eat all of their prescribed calories for the day - STARVATION IS BAD - you won't lose weight if you don't fuel your body. How long did it take to put on this weight people? I didn't wake up one day with 80 pounds to lose. I woke up and REALIZED I had 80 pounds to lose that had crept on over months and months of poor choices. I have to stop myself from commenting when people say they are almost 100% on plan except for that case of doughnuts they ate. I get irritated when the first blogs of new members include questions about how to include regular drinking of alcohol, the "special" event cake/pie/meal/buffet/whatever dispensation, etc. I don't comment because I am not intolerant, but I am flabbergasted. Why does anyone purchase NS if they don't intend to follow it to the letter?

NS is NOT the way you ate to get here. NS is the way you SHOULD eat if you never want to be here again. If you are doing the NS program, then you have realized that you need help. Maybe you are the person who prays for guidance...well, this IS the answer to those prayers. Maybe you are a person who has failed at other diets, but you are determined to succeed this time. Good. Then follow the plan. Don't look for ways to go off plan...look for ways to include the plan into your life.

I think when we diet sometimes we are ashamed that we need NS (or anything else) to achieve weight loss. Why? Would you be ashamed if you needed medication for an illness? A cast for a broken bone? Assistance for learning? A loan to buy a home or car? No. You wouldn't be ashamed to ask for help in any other situation, SO DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF USING NS TO ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOAL.

Don't let others sabotage your efforts. Pack your NS meals ahead of time. Prep vegetables and salads ahead of time so they are ready to grab. Cut protein servings and put them in baggies. Drink your water. Learn to say "no, thank you" and MEAN it. Get yourself out for a walk or do the DVD at home. Weather is not an excuse for idleness...and if you have a physical impediment there are oodles of "sit and be fit" types of exercise DVDs.

If you feel like you need help, reach out. There are great NS counselors available to you. There is someone on the blogs or in a discussion group who has been where you are at some point. If you're having a great day - or a bad one - you can get love and support here. If you're making mistakes (and we all do) I guarantee you that you will be set straight. Tough love is definitely present. If you don't like someone's blog, don't comment. If you do, show your support. If you feel like a blog is directed at you (it probably isn't) then maybe you should think about why it hits home. I know I am often surprised by what speaks directly to me.

Here's the most important secret to success: BE YOUR OWN ALLY. Be the person you need to support you...the person who makes wise choices...the person who loves YOU unconditionally. Because the sooner you embrace your NS journey the sooner you will be at goal.

Success to everyone.”

I am on track now.  I am not using Nutrisystem this time, but I am eating healthily and in portion control with the help of the online trackers.  Nutrisystem definitely helped me get perspective.  I just need to keep it.

If anyone needs support, reach out to me.  I will respond and I have been where you are. 

Hey, Mom! I've lost 2,500 pounds!

In an effort to find the humor and reason in all things, I pondered a life of yo-yo dieting.  Most recently I have lost 8 pounds…not a monumental amount, but a significant start. Yay! So, I’m in the shower and I think about how I lost the 8 pounds.  Well, several months ago I lost 4.  Then I gained them back.  Then I lost them again. Guess what?  I gained them back again. So, after losing them one more time I thought I was on the right track.  Oops.   Gained ‘em back.  Then I started my blog and my weight “bank” account and am now down a solid 8 (maybe a bit more by now).  So, let’s do the math: 

To lose a solid 8 pounds I actually lost 20.  WTF?  Yeah. 

I dieted off 20 pounds in order to achieve 8.

So, then I started thinking about ALL of the weight I have lost since my first serious effort at 17. It is mind-boggling. Technically, I am playing with 140 pounds up from my lowest weight as an adult.  However, this low weight was unhealthy for me, so let’s add about 15 pounds.  That means I am talking about 125 pounds of unhealthy weight gained over the course of my life.  That’s bad enough.  But when I think about all of the successful dieting I have done, I have lost that weight 20 times over.  That is over ONE TON.  In 10 pound increments, repeatedly. No exaggeration.   The thought of that sickens me to the core and I could just cry.  I am an intelligent, educated, successful woman…how could this possibly happen to me?

I’ll tell you how:  I eat too much.  I eat when I am celebrating, I eat when I am stressed, and I eat when I am bored.  I don’t eat when I am sad, but I am rarely sad. I do not exercise consistently.  I have a million reasons.  No excuses, but real understanding of what I have done. I gained significant amounts of weight when my son needed surgery, when my parents were dying, when I was recovering from personal tragedy.  I sat still…no walks, no dancing, no mat exercises…for very long periods of time.  I worry…a lot.  And when the time comes to deal with the thing I am worried about I meet it in a fat, unfit, uncomfortable body. There is something inside me that makes me think if I go very unnoticed by the universe that it might mitigate the trouble ahead. I have learned that is not true. Trouble comes and trouble goes regardless. 

IT IS TIME TO CHANGE NOW.

I want to lose the weight one last time and keep it off.  Meet future challenges with a fit, healthy body. 

Who else is on this path?

(Yesterday was my dog's birthday.  We walked on the beach for over an hour.  He found this fun little cave and plopped himself inside.  View at your own risk...you might fall in love with him.)

EIGHT pounds.

Today marks three weeks of über-consciousness about food and calorie banking trade-offs.  The result is EIGHT pounds gone as of this morning. And yes, I did emphasize EIGHT.

EIGHT.

The word EIGHT takes me back to college…in the days when the emphasis on one word could make everyone in the room laugh for absolutely no reason whatsoever.  EIGHT makes me remember long nights talking and listening to music…being comfortable in my body…my much smaller body that moved so well.  EIGHT reminds me of that stupid line in Jerry Maguire about the human head.  Boo.

So, here I am thrilled with my loss of EIGHT pounds.  I’m absolutely delighted that my hips don’t ache this morning. Instead of waiting for the mail person to pick up my post, I am walking to the mailbox.  Then I’m going to walk a bit more just to get one in for today.  Working will eat up the rest of the day and evening (with a little Tour de France action thrown in for spice). Gonna need to get on my bike at some point.

The other day my husband mentioned that our friends from Italy are coming in September.  They want to go for a hike…a thought that might have paralyzed me a few weeks ago.  But when he said, “Do you want to do that?” I immediately said yes!  Because I really do!  And I want to take the practice hikes.

Last night I dreamed of returning to yoga class.  I dreamed I was inverted and laughing (probably not a good idea) and that I actually planked from downward dog.  I know that is a dream now…but give it a few months.  I am going to spend the summer losing weight by being outdoors on my bike, walking, hiking, and being conscious of intake.  Then I am getting myself back to yoga (I love my instructor). I want to feel as though yoga asanas are possible...not like I am flailing around miserably.  Pilates, my joy, is temporarily too difficult for me, but I'm taking baby steps in regaining that sort of core strength, too. It's all about increments...

My husband wants in on the weight loss action now (just like when I did Nutrisystem…he watched me lose the first 25 then hopped on the bandwagon and blew by me in a nanosecond…kinda irritating, don’t you think?).  I fully support his effort to change, too.  But I’m not getting sidetracked this time. I can't put his goals in front of mine.  We have to do this independently/simultaneously. Possible?  We'll see.

So, EIGHT down, many more to go.  Booyah.