Hey, Mom! I've lost 2,500 pounds!

In an effort to find the humor and reason in all things, I pondered a life of yo-yo dieting.  Most recently I have lost 8 pounds…not a monumental amount, but a significant start. Yay! So, I’m in the shower and I think about how I lost the 8 pounds.  Well, several months ago I lost 4.  Then I gained them back.  Then I lost them again. Guess what?  I gained them back again. So, after losing them one more time I thought I was on the right track.  Oops.   Gained ‘em back.  Then I started my blog and my weight “bank” account and am now down a solid 8 (maybe a bit more by now).  So, let’s do the math: 

To lose a solid 8 pounds I actually lost 20.  WTF?  Yeah. 

I dieted off 20 pounds in order to achieve 8.

So, then I started thinking about ALL of the weight I have lost since my first serious effort at 17. It is mind-boggling. Technically, I am playing with 140 pounds up from my lowest weight as an adult.  However, this low weight was unhealthy for me, so let’s add about 15 pounds.  That means I am talking about 125 pounds of unhealthy weight gained over the course of my life.  That’s bad enough.  But when I think about all of the successful dieting I have done, I have lost that weight 20 times over.  That is over ONE TON.  In 10 pound increments, repeatedly. No exaggeration.   The thought of that sickens me to the core and I could just cry.  I am an intelligent, educated, successful woman…how could this possibly happen to me?

I’ll tell you how:  I eat too much.  I eat when I am celebrating, I eat when I am stressed, and I eat when I am bored.  I don’t eat when I am sad, but I am rarely sad. I do not exercise consistently.  I have a million reasons.  No excuses, but real understanding of what I have done. I gained significant amounts of weight when my son needed surgery, when my parents were dying, when I was recovering from personal tragedy.  I sat still…no walks, no dancing, no mat exercises…for very long periods of time.  I worry…a lot.  And when the time comes to deal with the thing I am worried about I meet it in a fat, unfit, uncomfortable body. There is something inside me that makes me think if I go very unnoticed by the universe that it might mitigate the trouble ahead. I have learned that is not true. Trouble comes and trouble goes regardless. 

IT IS TIME TO CHANGE NOW.

I want to lose the weight one last time and keep it off.  Meet future challenges with a fit, healthy body. 

Who else is on this path?

(Yesterday was my dog's birthday.  We walked on the beach for over an hour.  He found this fun little cave and plopped himself inside.  View at your own risk...you might fall in love with him.)