Can't.

It has already started. Announcing my intention to lose weight and get more fit by way of this blog has already launched the well-meaning support team. While I love the support and commentary, I am not enjoying, “Do you want some of this? Oh no, you can’t eat that.”  I beg your pardon?  What can’t I eat? Recently, in a joking manner, someone commented, “I’m going to tell everyone on your blog that I saw you eat two cobs of corn with butter!”  I know it was a joke.  I know it was good-natured ribbing.  But there’s a little part of me that was really irritated…as if my choices hadn’t been considered.  It made me really defensive. It also made me recognize a personal trigger.

I have made many, many mistakes when it comes to my personal health with regard to eating and exercise.  I have tried many diets.  The biggest mistake I think I have made repeatedly is coming from a position of “can’t.” Think about that for a second. Does anyone really like being told what to do? I’m not talking about instruction…I’m talking about being limited.

I do not like being told what I can and cannot do…shocking, right? (Friends and family are rolling on the floor about now…)  This may explain why I chose the rocky road of self-employment or why I enjoy teaching exercise classes (which I haven’t done for several years now) instead of taking them.  It could just be that I’m headstrong. It could also be because I question so many things.  One thing I do know for certain: when I am told I “can’t” I become determined to do that very thing.  So when it comes to food, “can’t” unleashes bad behavior and irresponsible eating. The question is, against whom am I retaliating?

It’s clear that others are just making an effort to be considerate and not tempt me with excess calories.  However, I’m a big girl (ha!) and I am capable of making my own eating decisions. For instance, I like salt.  If I could wear a salt lick I probably would. However, my ankles retain fluid. So when I overindulge in salty things I compensate with increased water intake.  This is a habit.  Something I always practice. 

Food has been another issue.  Somehow I seem to think I can “bank” exercise or calories for later.  Nope.  I’ve proven that approach doesn’t work for me. So now, because it works for me personally, I run a food calculator for each day.  (If you’re interested you can easily find one on the web, but good ones are www.livestrong.com/thedailyplate/, www.LoseIt.com, www.freedieting.com, www.myfitnesspal.com) I am allotted a certain number of calories to consume per day based on my current weight and activity level, and for my personal weight loss goal. If I am going to have a sedentary day due to my workload, I stick very close to the allotment.  On the other hand, if I am going to have lots of activity, I am able to adjust the number of calories I consume based on the amount of energy I expend. (This is a good site for calculating energy expended: http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc) This daily accounting has resulted in the gradual loss of my first 5 pounds…and the easing of a couple of waistbands.  I think that’s worth the effort.

So, here’s the deal:  I’m going to do my thing and I am happy to share.  But this time I CAN eat anything I want and I MUST be responsible for my choices.  You can, too.  Yay!