Be accountable

Well, my back popped out again last Saturday. I was getting dressed to go to a memorial service and bent down quickly to put on shoes and “POP” went my low back. Taking no chances for a prolonged recovery, I wrote an apology to my friend, and then got into bed with an ice pack. I had to cancel my plans for Sunday, too. Two days of ice/heat alternation and intermittent rest and walking in my house, and I got a welcome crack of things going back into place. It will likely be a few more days until I can function well, but I am pleased it’s resolving more quickly than the last time.

                I have now lost 20 pounds…in 5 weeks and 3 days…on my own. I am eating small portions, mostly protein and veggies, some fruit, no added sugar, and I switched to whole milk from skim. I log every morsel of food I consume on LoseIt.com. I am planning better for shopping, sticking to my lists, and, because of this, less impulse food is coming into the house and (I hope) it’s helping everyone.

                It’s very difficult to admit that I am still struggling with my food issues. Gone is the mindset that I will eat <insert caloric item> again once I have “finished” losing weight. News flash: I will NEVER finish. It is going to be a lifelong challenge to be vigilant and sensible. I like eating socially. My family and friends like good food, beverages, and desserts. It’s fun to share meals and go out for drinks. However, when I am home I rarely consume alcohol, and don’t have a problem eating healthy foods (it’s portion control that’s my big problem), but I do have a tendency to eat mindlessly while watching waaaaaaaay too much television at night. During this back injury interlude I’ve read two books. I forgot how hard it is to eat mindlessly when you are holding a book and turning pages! I may have rediscovered my late night eating alternative!

                It’s going to be a few more days before I can walk well again, but I can resume walking the dog in 2 days (I’m ready), and be able to drive again (that’s a sitting thing – ouch!) I am looking forward to continued weight loss – my son pointed out that if I continue at this rate I could reach goal in 24 weeks…that’s a good goal. I don’t know where I will be in 24 weeks, but I do know that I will weigh less and be healthier than today. That feels really good.

                BTW, the extreme weight loss shows are really, really helping me…watching the people utter their excuses…(one woman gained 32 pounds in 3 weeks and said, “Maybe I’m not eating enough”)…I think about my own denial and I am ashamed.  So, here is a promise I make to myself here and now: I will be accountable – for good or other. How about you?